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Archive for the ‘Pictures’ Category

So, like, wow, you have a myspace.

It just warms my heart to have you send me links to it, where I can see photos of you in various poses, pouting and finally being the fabulous international model you always hoped you would be.

And the blurb about you! The ingenuity! You say all these things that are witty and insightful, notions about life and pop culture, interspersed with things you love that make you somehow more unique and interesting than the 2 million plus other fools on the web right now. It is as though you are pointing that telescope right back at yourself, not taking yourself too seriously, when really you are just trying desperately to be cool so that you can get 15 more people to be your “friend” and litter your page with their equally inane comments on life and how hot your hair is right now.

Don’t forget to include a few well-chosen videos of yourself doing things and laughing, so that people will know how much fun you are to have around. And most importantly, have a music player that gives the website visitor no choice, but blasts out a song at high volume. It is akin to aural rape. It is downright rude.

After all your efforts to make yourself appealing, individual and hipster on your little slice of the interweb, you just come across as self-obsessed, self-absorbed, over-rated, desperately unfunny, shallow and – terribly sorry to say this – average.

Enjoy your mediocrity!

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Hey children… check out what this crazy Brontosaurus has in store for your innocence!

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We take picture submissions too, don’t be shy. Make a penis joke. We’ll most likely love it.

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In our tradition of stupid cat pictures to lambast Site That Shall Not Be Named, here’s a quasi-Italian cat with mild-mannered road rage.

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I wish my cat could drive me around.  You listening, Smokey?

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Now this picture blows my mind. I can’t believe this gem was out there, on the Internet. This gives Site That Shall Not Be Named a run for its money!

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Put on your creative hats, folks. What could these two poor people possibly have been doing?

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Following in the stupid but noble tradition of Site That Shall Not Be Named, here is a stupid cat picture to usher in the beginning of the stupid month of May.

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If you have any better pictures that are funnier (a lot funnier, for the love of all that is holy!!!), check out our Submitasaurus page and submit them.

Rantasaurus Says: Tyrantasaurus, you’re stepping out of line. I hope you’re not planning on doing this every day, or it’s “bad news bears.” I know where you sleep.

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Tyrantasaurus, so over it

Why is the number one site on WordPress a thing called I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER ? (From now on known as Site That Shall Not Be Named.)

Why? Why? Why? Why? It’s nonsensical pictures of stupid cats that have stupid captions on them that make no sense. Half the time it’s not even English that’s being spoken here. Yet people come and people laugh. What gives?

Is this what makes good online entertainment?

Okay, fine. I made one:

zephyr.jpg

I don’t feel any better. I mean, cats that can’t speak English? My two cats are Poet Laureates compared to the dumbass cats over on Site That Shall Not Be Named.

Rantasaurus Says: I know. I know. I can has barfed in my mouth a little bit.

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