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Archive for the ‘Rantasaurus News’ Category

I’ve been a poopy Tyrantasaurus… I’ve been running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Today I’m going out of town until Sunday, so I’ll see you all back here, 0800 hours on Monday, okay?

Sorry for the lack of updates.

Makes sure I’ve got something nice to come home to by submitting your rants to my inbox over at the Submitasaurus page!

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True story. When I first started Rantasaurus Rex, I wrote more rants than I wanted to. They weren’t funny and they weren’t good but people started showing up and reading.

I haven’t had to write a rant in five or six months and I really, reaaaaaally don’t wanna start. My rants are boring and lame and yours are funny and entertaining.

You know you’ve got it in you! Go to the Submitasaurus page and show me what you’ve got!

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Don’t forget to submit your most awful, embarrassing and hilarious school memories and woes. Our Rantsplosion contest ends in 10 days and the theme is: school woes

Head over to our Submitasaurus page to make it happen!

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We’ve gotten some good search engine results lately. Things someone typed to get here:

“a blowjob in las vegas airport”

“hate letters to a cheating wife”

“what are hookers listed as under the phone book”

“pills to make you horny for women”

Dear searcher for horny, pilled-up women… on the same day, we got several searches for “will Lunesta make you horny?” so you may want to try that. – Dr. Rantasaurus

“annoying bob furniture death” (HAHAHAHA! Someone else agrees with J.P.)

Dear Bob furniture death-wishers… someone also recently searched for “bob furnitures wife” so he may get his yet. Looks like someone is planning to swoop in.

“funny,laughing,farting cat pictures”

“shit in underwear date stomach”

“how to decorate a trailer apartment”

Step 1. Get out of denial. I don’t know if they actually count as… an apartment. An apartment on wheels, maybe?

“burn victim drinking and driving”

“buy scissors to trim hairy back”

Uh, oh… Bob the Furniture Guy has been surfing again.

“buck teeth and lazy eye”

If you’re not finding what you want with that search, try “bob furnitures wife.”

“monster made of candy”

You know, some people have called me a monster. Other people have called me sweet as candy. So…. heeeeeeeello!

“apology letters from drinking to much and vomiting everywhere bad”

“naughtyoldladies.com”

“cheese binds me”

“farting flatmates from hell”

“ways to scare people in their sleep”

“men drink women spit and pee”

I’m a little unclear on the grammar. Was that supposed to be “men drink. women spit and pee.” Or… “men drink women, spit and pee?”

“my junk was hanging out”

And my personal favorite: “nice looking chastity belt”

No, I’m not gonna let you have it! I’ll just dress it up real nice-like and tease you with it!

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Don’t forget our monthly Rantsplosion contest! The theme for August, just in time for back to school is: school memories.

Head on over to the Submitasaurus page and submit away!

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Our August Rantsplosion is going on all month. Submit your regular rants but make sure to think of any extras with the theme: school

Dig back into your childhood for those gems and send them to us on the Submitasaurus page!

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Your poor mortal eyes must already be bleeding from reading the brilliance of BetheBoy‘s egomaniacal genious-ness. Take an easy rest here, readers. You are safe… for now.

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